Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
