Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
