We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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