you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize