Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
