i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
