I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
