Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
