I think I am morally bankrupt
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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