Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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