the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
