I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
