i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize