Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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