Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize