My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
