when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
