I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize