I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
