from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
