Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My bed smells like the plague
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
