Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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