another moral hangover. fuck.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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