she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
