How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
