She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize