its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
