And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
sarcasm needs its own font
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
