he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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