So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
