I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
