You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
