"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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