I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
