Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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