I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
