I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize