Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
