How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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