I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do vagina's smell?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
