Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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