Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He is an equal opportunity slut.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
