I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
