Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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