I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
