yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We talked him into tasing himself.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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