i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
