how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have already put on my inside pants.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
