next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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