Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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