Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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