I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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