I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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