I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
