i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have feelings that need drinking.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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