I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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