and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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