I must be too annoying 4 u.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
as a side note pls kill me
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
