I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
