Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
