we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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