New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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