is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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