he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
dude. I can hear the air.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
