people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i love accidental penises.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
