Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It was confusing and full of hummus
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
