Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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