God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Girls should come with a carfax report
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You ruined the universe
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
