what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
