You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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